We went to the Southern Baptist Convention in Columbus, Ohio this past week. It was a great (albeit LONG) trip, and we had a good time. Thankfully, God met me there.
He knew that I needed a special touch from Him because the loneliness and despair I was feeling had covered my heart and soul like a wool cloak. I was in a total state of emptiness, and had sunken pretty deep into what felt like paralyzing quicksand . He also knew that I needed that touch from Him to be in human form.
I had gotten a small glimmer of hope that Friday before we left when I received an email from a former co-worker who wanted to check to see if we could stay in touch. I clung to her every word reading and re-reading this simple gesture of friendship. It gave me hope that all was not lost, and I did indeed have someone outside of my family who cared.
That email carried me through Monday when low and behold, I looked up and there sitting just a short ways from us was my friend, Mikki. Also a pastor's wife and librarian, she too had recently moved to a new church and so I hadn't seen her in about a year. When I got to her I just began to cry because I knew that God had heard my pleas and provided just what I needed at that moment. You see, when you are without school age children, a job, or a place where you can make trusted friends, loneliness takes on a whole new level.
What I was reminded of while at the SBC was that God loves me and meets my every need. He showed me this through sermon after sermon that invigorated my passion for life. I'm still not 100% where I need to be, but I know I can get there. I still can't be everything to everyone. I have to be Steve's wife and it seems that my kids need me now more than in recent years as they begin to embark on their on adventures. I have new adventures that I want to set out on.
I'm so grateful that God loves me and provides. As I pull myself out of this quicksand, I know that He is my lifeline and will show me the way. He didn't need to prove that, but He did.